23 Jul The Power of Community

Community: a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, or goals.

When hearing about community in a yoga setting, it sometimes can sound like a small cult (I’m laughing as I type this). Seriously! How often do you hear, “Omg my community is so great, you have to come check it out — I’m obsessed!” I know I do at least a handful of times a week. And there are many different definitions of community than the one above, but it’s the one that has landed with me the most. Once again, community is not a one-size-fits-all sweater. An amazingly supportive, honest, respectful community that has changed your life may be the worst place for me to be. And vice versa. So, how does one figure out where their people are and how to find them?

The answer is simple and unfortunate: try them all.

When you go to a buffet (imagine you are if you have never) do you only go to the salad bar and return to the table and then go, “This is all they had and I guess this will do?” Absolutely not. You tried the salad, decided it was gross, and returned for a fresh plate to go for the carb-heavy pasta you’d really been craving all day. That’s what it may be like finding your tribe — trying the obvious answer, and then retrying again and again until you finally build your ideal “plate.” So many students get discouraged because of a single experience at a single location with a single teacher. Don’t let one bite deter your whole meal! Not all studios/gyms are alike, and no two teachers are the same — especially no two teachers at the same studio! We are all snowflakes with a divinely unique teaching methodology. So when in doubt, here’s my advice to finding a community that will support, guide, and inspire you — whether in a yoga practice, your casual book club, or work friends.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

Community is a collaboration and intentional group effort. Each person provides a unique layer to that community. How do you want to be seen and heard in that space? Do you need a hand-holder or brain dump vacuum? Or do you need hard accountability and systematic check-ins? Knowing what you’re looking for will help cut down the noise.

KNOW WHERE YOU ARE

We are all constantly evolving, growing, and changing — yes, even when we’re stuck (I refer to it as marinating, which is still “change” by infusion, right?!). If you’re in a recent state of hurt, depression, deep anxiety, maybe a hard accountability system with multiple calls and in-person sessions isn’t for you right now. If you’re in a wheels-off, the-wind-is-my-guide, I’m-a-butterfly-that-survives-on-universe-glitter-for-sustenance phase of your life, than maybe a rigid academic and analytical training isn’t very aligned for you — now. Not to say you can’t revisit or elevate to be in those spaces! But why force yourself into a box you’re not in?

SHOW UP

The thing about community is that it requires really only one thing (there may be multiple sub-categories, but one giant umbrella) and that is to show up. Just show up. Participate. Talk. Share. Bond. Try. Get out of your comfort zone. Be vulnerable. Be respectful. Choose compassion. Embody empathy. Essentially, be a good human, or at least a real one! Being part of a community means choosing to show up for a purpose bigger than yourself for yourself without the inertia of ego. Meaning — it’s not about you. It’s about how you and others can create belonging together as opposed to being separate.

POKÉMON STYLE, TRY THEM ALL

Just like kids with vegetables, you’ll never know if you like or don’t like a space until you’ve given it a shot. Or two! Sometimes weeks or months will pass before you realize they’re not your people— that’s good! It’s better than never knowing, right? And you may say to yourself, “That’s way too much time to invest and I’m busy enough as it is.” Tell me, what’s a better use of your time: rewatching your fave Netflix binge alone while having FOMO as you doom scroll Insta, or experiencing a new class and grabbing an iced coffee from a new boutique bakery with the stranger you’re now calling a friend? You only get so much time in this world — how do you want to spend it?

Could I go on and on and give you 10 million ways to find and be a part of a community — honestly, no, I couldn’t. It sounds cliché, but there’s really only one way, and that is by looking. Experiencing people outside of your comfort zone. Sacrificing your preconceived notions of “group” and leaning into intimate connections with other authentic beings. It will not always be pleasant — there are unpleasant people in community out there don’t you worry, but in the end? When you’ve found the village you can relinquish your armor to and truly, sincerely, be yourself with — you won’t even remember what it took to find them, and they will be overjoyed you’re finally home.